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NEWS AND UPDATES
(September 2, 2019)
There is fear in the league as volleys of wiffle misery were sent crashing through the land of Hume in 2018. Even newcomers
Balls Deep's impressive drive ended prematurely, intimidated by the large Mother Earth shuddering gun decks of the Jollys.
Can anyone stop these Salty Men-O-Wiffle-War? Wiffle-on me hearties YO-HO!
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NEWS AND UPDATES
(September 28, 2017)
The 2017 Schedule has been posted! Check the schedule link to
the right. Below is this year's "pre-season" power ranking:
BULL SCHMIDT: Who in their right mind would want to mess with even a small pile of this team? PRIDE OF THE WHIFFLERS: There are so many things in life to be proud of. This team is not one
of them. Nevertheless, the baby blue shirts will inspire something in their opponents. SICKNESS: Last
year's team was downright sickly. But Pauly B warns this year's version may cause headaches, nausea, vomiting,
diarrhea, low blood pressure, high blood pressure, contusions, sadness, embarrassment, depression, and possibly even wiffle
death. WIFFLE WONDERS: Having played wonderfully in
their inaugural season, we wonder what year two will bring for these wiffle enigmas. Will they wander honorably
or shamefully. Do they wonder the same? Do they even care. Wiffle Tango Foxtrot. THE KILLER B's: The hive will be without The King B, a.k.a. Da B, a.k.a. DB. But the
swarmin' foreman insists there will B no buzz-kill in his absence this year. Hive Fives all around? THE K TEAM: Newbies from the U.P., this team pities the fools that dare challenge them at the plate.
HD Wiffle Ball welcomes the visiting team from Michigan with utmost derision. HOMEBOYS:
This year's Homeboys squad is all about potential. Last year they were one run shy of winning it all. This
year they will potentially suck. WICKED WIFFLERS: 23% of the time this team is awesome
100% of the time. This is another wicked Hume'n catastrophe waiting to happen.
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NEWS AND UPDATES
(September 3, 2016)
2015 Tourney Stats are complete - check out the "Archives" link to the
left.
The
2016 tourney is shaping up to be a big one - 10 teams will enter the "ring", including one new Hume'n entity - The
Wiffle Wonders! These cousins of the Homeboy himself are no-nonsense, git'er done work-horses who offer no-smack
talk but promise to let their play speak for itself. HD Wiffle Ball welcomes them with open bats!
Following is a pre"season" AP poll with brief commentary for y'all to dwell on. Wiffle On!
BULL SCHMIDT (Obvious pre-season choice for #1. Their captain
alone brings more to the table than any entrée at Meister's Bar & Grill); WIFFLE WONDERS
(Although they're newcomers and no-one has met or even seen them yet, they have much less Hume'n baggage than the Homeboys,
and they're way more likeable than everyone else); PRIDE OF THE WHIFFLERS (Perennial contenders
will include the Mike & Mike & Mike show in the 2016 edition, along with they're captain who is as good
as he is annoying); MULLANY'S DISCIPLES (The Disciple's Disciplets provide Zen, Chi, and
Feng Shui to a team riddled with Fat, Old, and Bengay); HOMEBOYS (There is no greater threat
to Wiffly Human Health and the Environment than the Hume'n beings on this team's planet. Global Wifflin' is for real,
and the Homeboys are the cause); SICKNESS (Is this the year that the Sickness finally breaks
out in a Golden Wiffly pandemic??? No. No it is not); GRIZZLY
MEN (The 2014 Champions have done absolutely nothing for two years except drink Coors Light. This unique training regimen
has thoroughly prepared them to do absolutely nothing in the 2016 tourney except drink Coors Light); MEISTERGATORS
(The 2012 & 2014 Runner's Up, who ROSE to Wiffle Glory in 2015 and are the current Defending HD Wiffle Ball
Champions will return to form at being terrible); THE KILLER B'S (The Hive rebounds
from years of colony collapse and avoids the sting of three-peat Shame. Or fails miserably. One or the other); THE REPLACEMENTS (a.k.a. THE ON-CALLS) (Awful. This team will be eliminated by the second inning of game one,
much like any entrée from Meister's Bar & Grill consumed in the first inning of game one).
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NEWS AND UPDATES
(August 29, 2015)
MUTINY! That was the cry of Dave Hume as long-time
Homeboy Jeff Freier announced his departure from the team to join the crafty MeisterGators.
The opportunistic Scot Taylor reveled in his coup by desecrating and proudly displaying the uniform of the former
Homeboy in front of Meister's Bar & Grill during the Scandia Taco Days Celebration! Mr. Taylor indicated that the
move to pick up Jeff Freier for the league minimum ($0.75 and a Keystone Light) was based on Mr. Freier's promise to bring
them over the hump of recognition, and into the limelight of Wiffle Honor. This should be an entertaining tourney
indeed!!!
The Following are excerpts from the exchanges
between Mr. Freier, and Homeboys Management:
Jeff Freier: "Please note that after
much deliberation, I'd like to formally announce that I'll be joining the East Side Scoundrels [a.k.a. Meistergators]... My
longstanding relationship with their management group, in particular team owner Mr. Scot Taylor, was instrumental in my decision
to return 'home' to finish out my career."
Dave Hume: "You're fired."
Jeff Freier: "...I'll rise above the fray
knowing that MY jersey will no longer bear homage to the most shameful of names in all the annals of Our Great American Pastime:
#14 - Peter Edward Rose"
Dave Hume: "...and
you shall forever be reminded when YOUR (I'm actually going to need it back if you have one) Homeboys jersey is retired and
raised upon the rusty backstop that is the bones of the hallowed field of dreams bearing the proud name of Riverfront that
every year from that point forward before the great tournament begins with the name "Jeffery Pete Freier-Rose" and you shall and will be proud because it will be associated henceforth from
11th day of September when you were officially released (fired) that it coincides exactly 30 years ago that Pete became THE
greatest hitter in the American pastime that you cherish!!! And furthermore the path of the righteous man is beset of all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny
of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of the charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness,
for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance
and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is ROSE when I lay my vengeance
upon thee!!!"
The On-Calls announced their return to the madness
after a rather unorthodox, but successful recruiting strategy by Captain Ken Huberty. Apparently one can literally
fish for new recruits.
The Pride are also back! After a
dismal performance as a back-up player in 2014, a performance that was slightly suspect and utterly Bull Schmidt, New Captain
Roscoe Sopiwnik looks to redeem himself and Whiffler's Row to their former glory. They were a dynasty under the management
of Brad Granslamly. What will Roscoe manage this year?
Mullany's Disciples will be without their Grand Master Tom Allenburg
and the young padawan James Jam Allenburg. However, they return last year's batting MVP in Andrew Urban, and as
always the great walk master general Dave Jecha.
Whether you're stung by B's, feeling the Sickness, or just getting Grizzly, nothing can top Hume-Donovan
Bull Schmidt
Wiffle On!
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NEWS AND UPDATES
(September 5, 2014)
The 2014 Tournament Date is set - Saturday, September 27!!! Despite
the long hiatus there has been plenty of "off-season" action and news...
Rumor has it that Dan Z-Bomb has dropped
150 lbs and can now run a 4.3 40. If that ain't reason enough to fret, his fast ball has been declared a
weapon of mass destruction in the far east. He also ghost co-authored instructions in the latest issue of Popular Science magazine on how to weaponize pitcher's mound. In 2012,
Z-Bomb offered his storied franchise up for sale, but most probably considered the non-negotiable price too steep - $0.75
and a 16 oz. Keystone Light. No one accepted the offer and the Bombers were no more. But has the enigmatic
owner been travelling, training, tinkering and recruiting to mastermind a spectacular return worthy of Wiffle Glory?
Injury and unrest surround the two-time defending Champions, POTW. Long time
co-captain Brad GrandSlamly was sent down to the minors in Colorado for undisclosed reasons. It is unclear who sent him
down since he was captain, but the latest reports suggest is was self-imposed and to expect him back next year.
Acting Captain RosKO Sopiwnik suffered a knee
injury while filing TPS reports on Sunday. Details are sketchy, but the injury is severe enough to potentially sideline
him for the Tourney, and prevent him from drinking(?). With the POTW's roster in disarray, the chances for a first ever
HD Wiffle 3-peat have been greatly diminished :)
The 2012 Runner-up MEISTERGATORS could
be the team to beat in 2014. The Gators were one of the most improved teams between 2011 and 2012. Their unique
style of ripping, ridiculing, debasing, degrading, and trash talking... each other ...did
not distract from their mastery of the Donovan Division, or an eventual spot in the 2012 Championships. The Gators
bite IS as nasty as their bark, and Captain Scott "Tebow" Taylor is looking to hoist the MeisterGATOR flag over Riverside
field once again!
The ON-CALLS are looking to improve in
2014. Actually, if they just show up - that will likely result in an improvement from the 2012 squad that
was mired in shame. General Manager John Giddyup Kramer has not had the time to master a championship run since most
of his time is devoted to extracting his truck from the cow pasture. Captain Ken Huberty hasn't been given much to work
with either, but in true MacGyver style he'll take a warm O'Doules and a half-chewed shred of dignity and construct
a champion.
There has been no word from Captain Grant Baseman Backman
and his SICKNESS juvenile delinquents. Officials from HD Wiffle Ball can only assume they are all in jail.
The MULLANEY'S DISCIPLES camp has
continued to build on their knowledge of everything wiffle since the inclusion of Master Dr. Eric L. Montei. Using feng
shui and a Ph.D. in Physics, Master Montei has taught the finer art of the pitch to a great many. Likely
pupils of his, Jenn Stroud Rossman and Bjorn Carey authored an article in the April 2014 issue of Popular Science magazine dedicated to the science of a Wiffle
Ball Pitch. Continuing in the knowledge sharing spirit of the Great Master Mullaney, Grand Master Tom Allenburg has
organized Mullaney Talk Live Webinars (or Mu Talk for short) for any and all to learn and understand the science behind
the game. All are welcome to attend the next free, fun, and exciting Mu Talk Webinar. Based on a previous Mu talk, we learned of a potential new Disciple of Mullaney, a padawan really,
the young James Jam. Will he bring some hip to Mu? Will he see his first real Wiffle play in 2014? Will
the Mu Talks provide him the knowledge needed to succeed in a game of Men? Does he even know yet that the cow goes Moo?
The KILLER B's have dodged colony collapse
and are ready to take that next step to golden honey. They've been so close to playoff play the past two active seasons
- the difference being a single play or two - that their psyches and their stingers are likely poisoned. Look for
them to bring their game, some sting, and some Big Mouths in 2014. They'll probably bring some Mickey's too.
Dave Mondry of the HOMEBOYS has decided to hang up his jersey. However,
Captain Dave Hume refuses to retire Mondry's number citing the fact that everyone on the team is #14. Mondry's bat will
be hard to replace, and with no commitments from Freier or Carlson, Hume may be looking to the likes of Kolbow, Swan and Thuma
of Dooma to roundout a dismal HOMEBOYS squad.
The West Side has been frought with BS. Honing strategy
skills by actively coaching competitive youth league baseball has been BULL. SCHMIDT was flying after
he and California Hall of Famer Tim Patrick Caslin defeated the young Wifflin' Irish duo of Patrick and Seamus Caslin 5
- 3 in a "friendly" on a beach in Sea Isle City, NJ. The win avenged a drubbing inflicted by the Irish two seasons
earlier. SCHMIDT and the elder Caslin swiftly retired from "friendlies" after the victory. On the recruitment
side, Vladamir Zaudtke, Oz - the Great and Powerful, and the Kraken among others may complete a BULL-SCHMIDT line-up
for the love of Pete! The days of the Deutsch and Ice-E Carlson, mostly filled with their hilarious defeat and disappointment
except for one brief anomaly, are long gone. But there is always "talk" of new teams or new players, young blood
with big aspirations. It all just ends up being talk. A mockery, really. The only real way to prove worthiness
for Wiffle Glory is action on the field. The time and place are known. Stop talking. Enter your team. Then BRING
IT ON!!!
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NEWS AND UPDATES
(September 9, 2013)
The 2013 Tournament Date has been postponed until Spring
2014. The 2012 Stats are in as well - check out the Archives tab to the left to surf through previous tourney results.
POTW is poised to become the first
team in HD Wiffle Ball history to three-peat. In a pre-season interview, Pride henchman Fat Michael Face Plante
was quoted as saying: "You guys are gonna get pitch-slapped!!!", referring to the ass-whoopin' Whiffler's Row will supposedly
be unleashing on all competition. General
Manager John Giddyup Kramer of the ON-CALLS has forced Captain Ken Huberty and his crew to take some more time off to reflect
on their 2012 performance, and to regroup in 2014. In similar fashion, sickness over the outcome of last year's playoffs
has been too overwhelming for SICKNESS, thus forcing the team on a 2013 sabbatical. Admittedly, HD Tourney
Officials acknowledged a flaw in allowing the "MERCY" rule to apply during post-season play, which may have
prevented SICKNESS from advancing to the finals. Rule changes for the 2013 tourney are likely. Team Captain
Grant Baseman Backman was not available for comment. With the ON-CALLS and SICKNESS absent in 2013, the void will be quickly filled with two newcomers to HD Wiffle
Ball. Details surrounding these wiffle warriors are currently shrouded in mystery, but rumor has it that a Disciple
of Mullany has broken from the Furious Five to pursue his own path to Wiffle Glory. Master Tom Allenburg has maintained
a vigil of silence on the matter. The KILLER
B's have been on the verge of Colony Collapse. The erratic, unpredictable behavior and whereabouts of the King B, a.k.a.
Da B, a.k.a. DB has left the swarm leaderless and confused. HD Tourney Officials have intervened on behalf of the
B's in an attempt to save the hive. Only time will tell if their efforts yield honey.
The storied BOMBERS franchise
is still up for sale. Z-Bombs non-negotiable offer of $0.75 and a 16 oz. Keystone Light are still on the table.
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NEWS AND UPDATES
(September 21, 2012)
News from around the league has been
pouring in. Below are some notable team updates.
From the ranks of Meister's Bar and Grill come the
MeisterGators, lead by Scott "Tebow" Taylor. In their 2011 inaugural season, MeisterGators diffused the Bombers to avoid
the brown wiffle ball of shame. However, these Gators are hungry, and they're looking to feast on Pride, Disciples,
or whatever comes on-calling in 2012.
But the same cannot be said for the Bombers.
Once a proud and thunderous program, the utter shame and humiliation suffered in 2011 forced upper management to consider
a different path. Team manager Dan Zarembombski offered the following:
"The new price for the storied franchise,
that rose to fame and dominance, is $0.75 and a 16 oz Keystone Light. This is nonnegotiable."
The Killer B's return after a hiatus in 2011, but will
be missing henchmen hurler's Ray and Bart. Their absence may take some sting out of the B's, but that won't stop them
from swarming the keg.
The Great Master of Mullany's Disciples provided a modest summarization
of their status entering the 2012 season:
"Looking back at the great Mullany’s Disciples rosters over time, you see that we
often have fielded players who can catch, hit and throw the Wiffle Ball. And, we always have excelled
at watching the Wiffle Ball. But, perhaps not since the passing of the great David N. Mullany himself has a team been
able to truly explain the Wiffle Ball.
With that in mind, we introduce to you Eric L. Montei, Ph.D. With a doctorate in
Physics, his deep understanding of the interplay between wind, speed, temperature, and perforated plastic spheres will undoubtedly
give us a new edge that teams of the future will desperately seek to acquire."
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NEWS AND UPDATES
(August 21, 2012)
Whiffler's Row was golden for the second time in
the past three years. But will "Pride proceed the fall" in biblical fashion? A swarm of Killer B's are darkening the horizon,
Sickness abounds, and Bombers are poised to level the playing field...literally. Is this the beginning of end times as predicted
by the Mayans? Or is it simply the dawning of a new era of Wiffle????
They...
are... coming.............
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NEWS AND UPDATES
(September 16, 2010)
ALL HANDS ON-DECK CIRLCE
The Schedule is set and the battle
lines are drawn. TEN teams will fight for Wiffle Gold. And one of those teams is The Wiffle Ballers - who have
returned to reclaim the title they voluntarily relinquished last year! Captain Ice-E Carlson is off "chasing bears in Montana ", but former 2008 League Batting Champ and MVP Rob Deutsch has decided to
lead the punks in 2010. Captain Deutsch stated "Though we may have lost valuable players, we will be back and as good as ever!!". The Dean
of Students has been notified.
Veterans of the tourney beware - The Sickness
make their wiffly debut in 2010. Composed of a bunch of disturbed youth led by Jeff Ley and Grant Backman, this off-shoot
of The On-Calls look to supplant the former champion Wiffle Ballers as reigning kings of Generation Wiff. The
Sickness will bring an 8-man deep roster that makes Z-Bomb just sick. But with this seemingly unlimited
supply of fresh arms and legs, the On-Calls may consider them ripe for the picking...on. Who will be immune, and who
will perish at the hands of The Sickness?
The Mullany's Disciple's training camps have
been active, and sensei Tom Allenburg announced MD's acquisition of Bryan Olson. With the addition of this B.O.,
the MD's will be more offensive than ever.
Announcements from more team headquarters are summarized
below:
From the Killer B's Nest, Captain D.B. elaborates
on the team's preparedness : "Coiled spring. Poised/ready. Barbed stingers. Mickey's on ice. Bees take charge,
sweeter than the honey. Game on."
From the Bomber's Base, Z-Bomb announces some roster
supplements: "The St Croix Valley phone book. Or anyone that is standing around that is not
hurt or drunk"
From the Home of the Homeboys: "Eat our dirt you sons
a bitches and reinstate Pete!"
From the Decks of the Jollys: We're out of Lux,
but we scored some T.N.T. Welcome Tim Neil Tanner to the 2010 Championship squad of the Jolly Wifflers - ARRRRRRRR!!!!
IT'S ON
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NEWS AND UPDATES
(August 15, 2010)
HUMEn' ARRRRRR!!!!
The 2010 War of the Wiff is nearly upon us.
The Pride were the quickest to announce their intentions of defending their crown. But the Jolly Wifflers are anxious
for revenge. Standing in their way are the F'Donovans who threw down the gauntlet earlier today. The Homeboys
are a mainstay, but internal rumblings during last year's tournament suggest a spin-off may be looming.
No word yet from the Killer B's, the On-Calls, the Bombers,
or Mullany's Disciples. There was some talk of several new gangs entering the turf war shortly after last year's melee,
but there's been little talk since. The lack of chatter is a typical response to the Jolly's announcing the return
of The Kraken.
Looking ahead, last year's final power rankings may give a
clue as to the 2010 favorites:
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The Pride of the Whifflers
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Mullany's Disciples
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Jolly Wifflers
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On-Calls
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Killer B's
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Bombers
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F'Donovans
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Homeboys
But if previous tourney patterns hold true,
look for a Homeboys vs. F'Donovans final. To prove otherwise - get
your team entered as soon as possible. There's but a month left! Don't fall prey to HUME'N AAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
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NEWS AND UPDATES
(September 15, 2009)
Get ready for HD's answer to swine flu - WIFFLE
BALL and a PIG ROAST!!!! Throw in kegs of BEER, a few BRATS and some HOT DOGS, and you have yourself pandemic-free pandemonium.
Eight Teams are ready for battle and this year welcomes
the newest addition - Dave Brown's Killer Bees! Good Luck to all.
Watch out - here come the Killer Bees!!! Former Jolly
Wiffler goon Davey Jones Brown has abandoned ship and collected himself a swarm of talent to contend for the sweet nectar
of the Wiffle gods.
Mr. Brown was a pivotal member of the Jolly's 2006 Runner-Up
and 2007 Championship squads. But following an extended shore leave, the buzz of those victories and rum wore off and Brown
found that the Jolly ship had sunk. He and his son wandered aimlessly until joining a couple of rogues called
Borden. Soon, a swarm of wiffle talent came flying to their ranks, including a devil Ray, and an unsavory
character called Bart. Together they formed 'The Killer Bees' to contend for the crown in 2009.
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NEWS AND UPDATES
(September 03, 2009)
It's true - the Wiffle Ballers are out!
After three years in the tourney and an epic rise from the basement to the podium, Eric Carlson and his young brothers-in-arms
have decided to attend their Senior-Year Homecoming Semi-Formal Dance rather than defend their honor. The news devastated
co-commissioner Dave Hume, who quipped that "...he didn't realize kids got married so young these days.". But the
now WIFFLE BALLED-AND-CHAINED gang were not without remorse (left over from past years?) on their decision. Captain
Carlson had this to say regarding their announcement: "Now I am sure that by this time...your heart has soared
that we are on the brink of collapse and that one of the other teams will rise this year...but...we would do anything in our
power to be able to smoke you all once again...Sorry we couldn't beat you..., but it seems as though the Wiffle Ballers will
have to retire with our championship status solidified".
Some have suggested that this "Semi-Formal
Dance" is actually just a front for their re-making of High School Musical 3. But whatever their excuse, their smack
talk and competition will be missed. Those of us at Hume-Donovan Wiffle Ball wish them well in their Senior Year, and
wish them the best in their college endeavors. Now take off.
Eight teams are once again committed to battle. Six of
the these teams are regulars in the tournament and are squeamish knowing that the Jollys have regrouped and have
once again unleashed their hell-beast wiffle crushing monster - the Kraken. Not even a first place prize of BUDWEISER
seems to be enough to coax the fear out of them. And what a rude introduction to Hume-Donovan Wiffle Ball
this will be for one NEW team scheduled to join the brawl. May God Have Mercy on their souls.
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NEWS AND UPDATES
(June 20, 2009)
UPHEAVAL!!!! That's the best word to
describe the outcome of the 2008 tournament. Two teams doomed to shame in 2007 rose to glory in '08. The defending
Champions were thoroughly destroyed and were the worst team on paper. And for the first time in HD Tourney history,
a Hume or Donovan team was not represented in the finals. What kind of a mockery of a sham is this thing, anyway?
HD Wiffle Ball is thrilled to announce that
O-N-N Sports covered a portion of the playoffs in 2008. The coverage is great exposure for
the tourney and is a testament to what all of the participants and fans have made this great event.
The Wiffle Ballers (formerly the Pioneers)
captured the crown in 2008, but their victory did not come without some controversy. It has been brought to the
HD Tourney officials' attention that while the Wiffle Ballers did alternate pitchers during each game, they did
not seem to realize that the pitching order carried over to the next game. Therefore their top pitcher frequently ended
a game then started the next. HD Tourney officials will not be relinquishing their crown (since the H half
seemed to forget that rule two years ago as well), but for fairness sake the Budweiser portion of the Wiffle Ballers prize
(they're underage anyway), as well as some honor will be bestowed upon Mullany's Disciples.
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NEWS AND UPDATES
(September 23, 2008)
The GATHERING nears.
Rules for the first Hume-Donovan Wiffle Ball HOME RUN DERBY are posted - check the menu to the left and click on "HR Derby"
to review the set-up.
The schedule has been posted as well - click on "2008 Schedule" in the main menu to review.
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NEWS AND UPDATES
(September 3, 2008)
Entering "Wiffle Month" there are only two spots left for teams. Register your team by September 20 to particpate in The Gathering.
Get ready for the first Hume-Donovan Wiffle Ball HOME RUN DERBY. Rules will be announced in the next few days.
In the guise of "Football Coach", Z-Bomb has been weeding out potential patellar tendon donors. He reportedly crossed the
line when he tried to substitute his linemen's shoulder pads with explosive vests. League officials were not available for
comment, and were apparently dismembered.
After a disappointing season opener by Michigan, John Kramer has apparently stepped up efforts to burn Hume's couch...and
mormons.
The Sopiwnik Saga continues in Favre-like fashion. Initially out to run a race in Seattle, then back in, then out again to
run a race in Chicago, he is now back in. Pride of the Whifflers officials have indicated that their frustration with the
situation is only overshadowed by their apathy. Where the hell is Ryan Leaf when you need him...to be mocked.
Rumor has it that Matt "Homerly" Haberle and the F'Donovan crew were considering a merger with the Jolly Wifflers. The proposed
new team, The F'Wifflers, would be managed by committee. However, the deal fell through when word leaked that Doug Houser
would be included.
The Jolly Captain has been dealing with his own team issues. Shore leave has been so good to the crew that only one has returned...
...And the rum is gone.
Bastards.
The Captain was last seen headed toward Tortuga.
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NEWS AND UPDATES
(August 3, 2008)
The entry slots are filling up as the tournament date approaches. There is only room for 10 teams, so if you're interested
in fielding one - register now (first come, first served)!
From the ashes of the former team known as The Pioneers rises a group of juvenile delinquents in the offseason, The Wiffle
Ballers, in their Major League debut. In a move to shake off the past aura of shame, Eric "Ice E" Carlson has abandoned the
old emblem, re-organized his minions, recruited new talent, and has started talking trash. Word.
No one has seen or heard from Z-Bomb in quite a while. Are there issues with his Sturgis crew? Has his Minot labs been shut
down? One can only speculate, but the Bombers have yet to register a team for '08.
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| Sweet Dreamers (a.k.a. Large Trouts?) |
Rumor has it that Tim Thorson of the Duluth Sweet Dreamers (also known as the Large Trouts) may mobilize his crew. But if
they play ball as well as they catch fish, it'll be a long paddle up river with a stringer of large mouth ass. Row on, brother.
Where on Earth is John Kramer?
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NEWS AND UPDATES
(Posted on 5/20/08)
Will Pride be restored in the Whifflers?
Can the Disciples find the path of their great Master?
Is youth a curse the Pioneers will never overcome?
Are there any challengers, new or old, that can match the gun decks of the Jollys?
The 2007 Tournament was a great success but it wasn't without its controversies. An initial inquiry revealed some disturbing
trends, so an all-out investigation into the league was launched. The results of this investigation are the subject of the
Mich'el Report, in which various individuals suspected of grievances are identified. Tournament officials have thus far yet to act on the
report, mainly because they themselves have apparently been implicated.
The 2008 offseason has already seen a flurry of activity, and there are plenty of rumors to boot.
The Bomber's own Dan ZaremBombski participated in some non-wiffle ball sporting activities in the off-season and ended up
tearing his patellar tendon. Whether or not the injury affects him or the team in the 08 tournament is too early to tell,
but team officials are reportedly livid.
 The F'Donovans have not gotten over their 07 post "season" exit at the hands of the Homeboys. The loss was F'Donovans first
and only in two seasons of play. Captain Matt Homerly Haberle is believed to be re-stocking his team. In two seasons, the
F'Donovans already own one Championship, and have claimed the past two tournament MVPs and a pitching leader. They look to
be a formidable opponent yet again.
The Captain of the Jollys is said to be courtin' the monster he unleashed in '07 to return in '08. That monster, the beast
from the East - the Kraken, John Kuesel is considering it, but there's a storm brewing on the East Coast. A storm that is
churnin' up some foul characters that may seek to crash the DonoParty in '08.
Get your team and roster registered soon - the tournament is limited to 10 teams, first come first served! The Homeboys and the Reigning Champion Jolly Wifflers
are already in.
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Copyright the Jolly Wiffler
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