2019 Tournament Summary

Foul weather, ale-force wind, line driving rain, and a knuckle biting temperature curve were not enough to discourage the wiffling faithful from making the 2019 tourney one of the largest on record. Nine teams braved the elements to seek gold on the land of Hume, but the relentless and oppressive Hume'n resources had numbers and llamas in their favor as they sought to make wicked L-7 weenies of all who faced them on the diamond. Three-time champion PRIDE OF THE WHIFFLERS proved formidable but even Whifflers Row eventually fell to WICKED WIFFLERS Rowan and his rowdy lot of SHAMsters. This kid threw at his own father in the father - son match. Suess, Hume, jAke and Mallinga

won Wiffle Gold without recording a single hit. Not a single freakin' hit. That's as bad as referring to the great Bambino as some lady named Ruth. It's a complete mockery of a sham. It's killing me, Smalls!

BALLS DEEP swung low and missed the mark in year two of the franchise. But newcomers GET A WIFF nearly smelled Glory before succumbing to the PRIDE in the playoffs. The WIFFs gave the JOLLYs and the MEISTERGATORS the finger by winning each game by one run, but were also banged wickedly by the S.H.A.M.

The feisty MEISTERS returned after serving a two-year jail sentence for "polluting the Earth and destroying the neighborhood". The 2019 MEISTERGATORS, led by Scot Covid Taylor looked alot like a bunch of SICKNESS and their 1-1-1-? record was equally sickly. Hume-Donovan Wiffleball officials have discussed issuing a mandatory mask-wearing order for the gator goons - but mostly because no-one can stand looking at the bastards.

The former champion GRIZZLY MEN went undefeated in the Donovan Division, and Captain Carlson won the 2019 Batting Title. But the pro-longed tournament play coupled with the colder-than-usual air caused the older, fatter GRIZZLIES to hibernate during the playoffs.

The previous year's champion JOLLY WIFFLERS were a JOLLY offensive juggernaut but a defensive target practice squad as the team allowed a staggering 35 runs in four games. The HOMEBOYS didn't fare much better, allowing 34 runs. HUME-DONOVAN was HOHUM-DIDDLY. Mockery of a Sham. All of it.

And then there's the KILLER B's...

I blame murder hornets.